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Hello! Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss. Literally.
On the way:
⏪ Deja vu for Man Utd and Ten Hag
🎩 Haaland has hat-trick fever
😮 Valverde’s killer Mbappe assist
👀 Salah casts doubt on his future
No magic wand: Ten Hag can’t make United’s issues disappear
Manchester United’s summer retention of Erik ten Hag was the flimsiest vote of confidence a manager could ask for, damning him with faint praise and a limp thumbs-up.
“They eventually came to the conclusion they already have the best manager,” Ten Hag said. But here’s the truth: United were poised to sack him at the start of the off-season and spoke to other managers, including Roberto De Zerbi and Thomas Tuchel. But the Dutchman survived as none of the club’s alternatives worked out. And he knows it.
Ten Hag was on thin ice because his team were all over the place for much of last season. Unfortunately, the portents for him and United look no healthier now. Yesterday, they were blitzed by Liverpool at Old Trafford, beaten 3-0 as a consequence of some of the structural failures that left Ten Hag in peril in the first place.
Simply put, little has changed.
And here’s the rub. United spent pretty heavily in the transfer window: £205million ($269m) once Manuel Ugarte from Paris Saint-Germain had gone through on Friday. Ten Hag dictated a large wedge of that recruitment.
“I’m not Harry Potter,” he said after yesterday’s defeat, implying that a magic wand was still required. Nice try, but the well of excuses is running dry.
More midfield muggles muddles
It would be remiss to forget Liverpool. They were impressive at Old Trafford and new head coach Arne Slot has already made his made his mark tactically — which, in itself, further detracts from Ten Hag’s performance as he begins his third season at United.
For so long, United’s midfield has been easy to counter and banter. It was there that Liverpool’s first goal developed: Casemiro with a stray pass, Liverpool surging in transition and Luis Diaz completely unmarked (below) to score in front of the Stretford End (didn’t we see that happen at Old Trafford last season too?)
Casemiro was hooked by Ten Hag at half-time. The Brazilian is only 32 but looked so far over the hill that he’s at the bottom of the corresponding valley, a sorry shadow of the footballer he once was. Ugarte, 23, is waiting in the wings but the depth beyond him is not vast. A typical Casemiro appearance has poured cold water on Ten Hag already.
TAFC has been quietly questioning all summer whether the executives at INEOS, United’s new(ish) minority shareholder, had the wit or the strategy to get a grip and close the gap between United and the upper end of the Premier League. The muddled backing of Ten Hag sounded an alarm bell — and this season’s first real test has it ringing again.
Haaland’s magic hat-tricks
My gut feeling is that Liverpool, despite Slot’s nous, lack the richness of resources required to have a proper go at the title — but let’s not rule them out.
It might help if they could bring a bit of clarity to Mohamed Salah’s contract situation. Salah said yesterday that he has not been offered a new deal and that this is his “last year with the club”. Asked to clarify his comments, he said he “will see” what happens but that issue is going to rumble.
If the title does boil down to Manchester City or Arsenal, it’s advantage City. That might sound ridiculous three games in but the past two title races have been so tight that the two points dropped by Arsenal in Saturday’s 1-1 home draw against Brighton & Hove Albion could be significant.
To touch on City first: Erling Haaland is an absolute freak (admittedly, that’s no newsflash). Check out in the graphic below how he has overperformed his expected goals by double.
His second three-goal haul in eight days, during a 3-1 win at West Ham United, means he has eight hat-tricks in the Premier League after 69 matches. City predecessor Sergio Aguero holds the record with 12. But it took him 275 appearances to get there.
As for Arsenal, they were undone after Declan Rice was sent off for a very iffy second yellow card early in the second half. The video assistant referee is not allowed to review individual bookings, so the dismissal stood. The worst thing from Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta’s point of view? Rice will now miss the north London derby at Tottenham Hotspur on September 15.
News round-up: Remembering my friend Sol Bamba
(Alex Pantling/Getty Images)
Transfer talk
The transfer window is shut and this is where The Athletic cryogenically freezes David Ornstein for a few months — but before we do, let’s wrap up a few issues:
- Tim Spiers and Nick Miller think that pound for pound, Fulham and Brighton did the best business. Not a bad shout. I also thought the surprise return of Ilkay Gundogan was a win for Manchester City.
- There’s something sad about the Ivan Toney story. All that potential and all that time lost to a suspension for betting, only for him to wind up in Saudi Arabia. The 28-year-old will get rich out there but it’s an obscure stage for his peak years.
- Oli Kay’s not wrong when he argues that the Premier League window was a mess. Shenanigans with profit and sustainability rules (PSR) and the mass auction of academy products are causes for concern, if anyone cares to address them.
Around The Athletic FC
🤕 A lot was made of Newcastle United’s injury problems last season, and the graph above showing the spike in training days lost to treatment is incredible. They’re in better shape now and a 2-1 victory over Spurs yesterday increases their momentum.
⚖️ Everton 2 Bournemouth 3. It’s either one of the greatest Premier League comebacks or one of the worst Premier League collapses. No wonder Everton’s glass is half empty.
🇮🇹 From Serie A and Italy: Inter Milan are heating up, AC Milan’s body language isn’t great, Victor Osimhen can’t escape the Napoli ‘bomb squad‘, and the Maldini genes are going strong.
🇺🇸 We await the arrival of Mauricio Pochettino and in the interim, Mikey Varas has the job of handling the USMNT. Their roster for a couple of forthcoming friendlies is nowhere near full strength, but Barcelona goalkeeper Diego Kochen was a notable call-up.
🖱️ Most clicked in Friday’s TAFC: Galatasaray’s Fernando Muslera losing his rag. And in Saturday’s bonus edition: Tom Brady’s Birmingham City throwing crazy money at young striker Jay Stansfield.
And finally…
Never mind their slow start. Kylian Mbappe and Real Madrid were going to catch fire before long — and lo, it came to pass last night. Mbappe scored twice (his first goals in La Liga) and Madrid beat Real Betis 2-0. Normal service resumed.
Even Mbappe, though, had to concede the limelight. The opening goal (above) was the product of a dazzling, backheeled flick from Federico Valverde (who doesn’t need a Harry Potter wand). “The pass does almost everything,” Mbappe said.
It’s September but the battle for assist of the season is done.
(Top photo: James Gill – Danehouse/Getty Images)